BBF back in the Jing

I just want to send a public note announcing the thing I'm most thankful for this Thanksgiving: my Beijing Best Friend back in the Jing!  Stacey is back (only for a few days) and while I'm so proud of what she's doing in New York, (getting her PhD at NYU) I sure have MISSED her!  This has been a year full of incredible blessings and plenty of things to be thankful for, but my seeing my smiling friend's face is up there on my list.

I'm also thankful because, since my last post, we have successful found all ingredients (with one - cranberry juice concentrate - being brought in Stacey's suitcase) needed for our Thanksgiving feast.  Yay!  Now it's just a matter of juggling oven time...

So, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  May it be a time to reflect with family and friends, wherever you may be.

Ties that bind

Friendship is a funny thing.  

Most of my friends in the States have been good friends of mine for a long time.  We have a lot in common: school, beliefs, shared experiences, interests, work, family, etc.  I think this is true for most people, we tend to gravitate toward people that are similar to us.

Friendship far from home often looks a little different.  At one point our closest friend group consisted of an Athiest from Australia, a stict Muslim from Syria who had grown up in London, a Jew from the Northeast, a Christian from the Midwest, an environmentalist Buddhist from the Pacific Northwest, and a non-religious guy from Hong Kong.  Despite the fact that we represented quite a melting pot of religious diversity, I can't remember a single conversation concerning religion.  

I guess when you're far away from home and people who are very similar to you, differences start to matter a lot less.  For example, just the fact that a person speaks English is a huge unifying factor.  

We often travel with a group of 15 or so friends.  I have tried to imagine how complicated this would be in the States.  However, for this group it's no problem at all, and we're travelling in China which is no easy task for even ONE person.  We're eating all together, doing activities all together, splitting bills, paying deposits, etc, yet we rarely, if ever, have an issue.   After trying to figure out why this works so seamlessly, I finally realized that despite our religious, political, background, family and nationality differences, we have one key factor in common: an "up for anything" personality.  

I guess to move across the world, learn enough Chinese to survive, appreciate another culture and branch out enough to make friends with people who are different from you, you have to have a bit of an adventurous nature.  As a result, despite our differences, we're on the same page more often than not.

Whatever the reason for these unique friendships may be, they have taught me a lesson about people, which I hope will stay with me even when I'm back home.  Friendship is more than just having a similar viewpoint.  Developing relationships with people who are different from you grows you, stretches you, and makes you a more interesting person.  It doesn't mean you have to lose yourself or compromise who you are, as a matter of fact it often gives more meaning and substance to your personality to have people around who challenge you.

We all live, learn, lament, laugh and love.  In the end, maybe we're not that different after all.

Thanksgiving Treasure Hunt!

That sounds fun, doesn't it?

Not so much.

Since Thanksgiving is only celebrated by North Americans (Canadians celebrate their Thanksgiving about a month before Americans, and I don't think it's as big of a deal for them, at least that's what I gather from my Canadian friends here) it is a day largely unnoticed by the rest of the world.  When living in China and trying to cook a Thanksgiving Day feast, this can become a bit of an issue.

The last two years we have gone out to a restaurant for Thanksgiving, which has been pretty disappointing each time.  So, this year we decided to take the challenge and prepare our own meal (with 12 of our close friends).

There are three main reasons for Thanksgiving (any cooking) difficulty in China:

1. Lack of ovens - Most apartments do not have ovens, so many foreigners buy a small convection oven, usually slightly larger than the average toaster oven.  Even the homes that have ovens have a scaled down version, not large enough to fit a 18lb. bird, so we have to order one from a caterer/restaurant.

2. Lack of ingredients - While there are a growing number of import markets here, they do not typically carry pumpkin pie filling or cranberries or any number of other necessary Thanksgiving ingredients.  After inquiring and getting a few blank looks at a shop yesterday, I found three cans of pumpkin pie filling hidden, grabbed them all and ran for the door.  It's like buying for plywood before a hurricane.

3. Schizophrenia of supply - The import stores here, the two main ones are "Jenny Lou's" and "April Gourmet" (ironic, huh?), are small.  The average size of their locations is about the size of my apartment.  As a result, they don't have much shelf/storage space.  So, while they may have a wide variety, it's undependable to say the least.  Two weeks ago I needed capers and couldn't find them anywhere.  Yesterday I was shopping and saw at least 10 jars in at least three stores.  Frustrating?  Yes.

These three points lead to a number of interesting situations.

Situation #1: Ordering of a turkey

My friends and I decided that a relaxing way to plan the logistics of our dinner would be over a foot massage.  So we headed to the spa for a 90-minute treat (this cost $15 - one of the up-sides of China).  About 30-minutes into this process we decided to call and order our turkey from a restaurant where we love eating and many others have recommended.  But, we discovered they only provide it if you order sides.  So we called another place, they didn't know the meaning of the word turkey - in Chinese or English.  This process went on for about a half-hour, during which Courtney, the original caller, was yelling and almost threw her phone a number of times.  This came as a bit of a shock to the tranquil massage therapists.  Finally, Ema took over the calling with fresh resolve and we found a bird.  Whew.

Situation #2: Finding ingredients (the treasure hunt)

There is currently an "All Points Bulletin" out for: walnuts, cranberry juice concentrate, Kalamata olives, buttermilk, self-rising flour and cornmeal.  We started early, so (of the "high-risk" ingredients), we have already found: cranberries (frozen), pumpking pie filling (amazing), marshmallows, dried cranberries, cinnamon sticks, and a vanilla bean.  These were from a minimum of three different stores.  Treasure hunts are fun, but not when you're desperate.

Situation #3: Logistics

We have small apartments.  

We live abroad and know someday we'll move back.  

We don't have cars.  

All of this can be a bit of an issue when 14 people get together to eat a traditional meal, hopefully at one big table.  And it takes quite a bit of planning.  We have to get additional chairs and two tables into my friends' apartment.  We have to bring our ovens, plates, glasses, silverware, and cooking supplies.  We have to start planning this process weeks in advance.

The good news is this: it's so worth it.

My best Beijing friend, Stacey, is flying back from New York (where she's in a PhD program for nine months) to celebrate with her Beijing family.  I am taking the day off of work on Thursday, Nov. 27th and making dishes together with my Beijing family.  We will all get together for a home cooked dinner, after so much work, frustration and preparation, and enjoy the fruits of our labor.  In this sense, maybe it feels more like the first Thanksgiving than my past holidays do.  Joining together with "new" friends, helping each other make preparations in advance, and then sitting down together and enjoying the "harvest" of hard work.  

Yum.

To vote, or not to vote....that isn't the question

Growing up in America, I remember being taught about voting:

"You should exercise your right to vote because there are people in the world who don't live in a country where they have the same rights."

While this is obviously true, and definitely a motivating factor, living abroad has taught me a second lesson:

"Americans should exercise their right to vote because there are people all over the world who are not able to vote IN AMERICA."

Being out of the United States broadens a person's perspective in many ways.  One area is more of an awareness of world affairs.  I have CNN International (one of two English channels, the other one is a movie channel) and watch it constantly.  Though it is an American network, it has a surprisingly balanced degree of world news, which means America is just one nation worthy of reporting on.  I remember noticing the distinct difference from most American news networks which are probably 90% domestic news.  This was before the Presidential election.  The past six months to year have been more concentrated on the election as well as the financial situation and how it affects the rest of the world.

Many Americans, including myself, are embarrassingly unaware of international affairs, but this is not a problem in every nation.  Europeans seem to be the most aware of world events and players and are able to have an educated conversation concerning many of them.  However, even the insulated Chinese are aware of the political situation in America.  

People around the world say "I'm voting for Obama" as if they were really filling out a ballot.  When people learn I am American they see me as their one chance to make a difference and they jump on it, giving me unsolicited reasons for why I should be voting one way or the other.  I AM THEIR VOTE.  This sentiment was strongest between Hilary and Obama.  (I've found that few people, at least in China, are very interested in McCain.)  However, during the primary season, taxi drivers to African diplomats were trying to convince me to vote for "their" candidate, often with great conviction and well thought out reasoning.  It was slightly intimidating, especially having grown up in a nation where people avoid political discussion in small talk.  Once I got past being intimidated/offended, I actually started to listen and realized that voting in America is not only a priviledge, it's a responsibility.  The decisions we make in our poll booths don't affect only our pocketbooks, our children, our environment, our wars and peace, but they affect these things for all of the world.  

Additionally, for the roughly 80% of Americans who do not have a passport, the American president is the most prominant person representing them to the rest of the world.  Whatever Americans have thought of Bush, the world has not been particularly fond of him.  For those travelling and living abroad, the past four years (at least) have meant knowing a barrage of criticism would follow an admission of nationality.  I'm proud to be an American, don't get me wrong, because I know the ideals we claim to stand for and the average person in America are worth being proud of.  In fact, living abroad, I'm more proud to be American than ever before.  However, we choose the President to represent all of us, and we benefit or suffer due to that performance.  Many people are able to separate normal Americans from one person in the White House, and realize we may not all be the same.  (Many are not able to make this separation - 9/11 comes to mind.)  However, they cannot separate us from the fact that we put our Presidents into place, which is true.

To many Americans I have met, this world perception may not be that important.  However, as the world globalizes more and more and our traditionally distant neighbors feel closer and closer, our image has growing importance.  The tragedy of the financial crisis has shown that, if nothing else, all markets and all business are now tied together.  

I will never think of voting the same again.  Even if I do not like the candidates, I will see it as my responsibility to vote on the issues.  As many have said, at this point in history America is a city on a hill, whether it wants to be or not.  Our decisions (to shine a light or not) affect outcomes throughout the world for good or bad.  I will use my one vote (and the many I surely represent around the world) to try to make that outcome a good one.