BBF back in the Jing

I just want to send a public note announcing the thing I'm most thankful for this Thanksgiving: my Beijing Best Friend back in the Jing!  Stacey is back (only for a few days) and while I'm so proud of what she's doing in New York, (getting her PhD at NYU) I sure have MISSED her!  This has been a year full of incredible blessings and plenty of things to be thankful for, but my seeing my smiling friend's face is up there on my list.

I'm also thankful because, since my last post, we have successful found all ingredients (with one - cranberry juice concentrate - being brought in Stacey's suitcase) needed for our Thanksgiving feast.  Yay!  Now it's just a matter of juggling oven time...

So, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  May it be a time to reflect with family and friends, wherever you may be.

Ties that bind

Friendship is a funny thing.  

Most of my friends in the States have been good friends of mine for a long time.  We have a lot in common: school, beliefs, shared experiences, interests, work, family, etc.  I think this is true for most people, we tend to gravitate toward people that are similar to us.

Friendship far from home often looks a little different.  At one point our closest friend group consisted of an Athiest from Australia, a stict Muslim from Syria who had grown up in London, a Jew from the Northeast, a Christian from the Midwest, an environmentalist Buddhist from the Pacific Northwest, and a non-religious guy from Hong Kong.  Despite the fact that we represented quite a melting pot of religious diversity, I can't remember a single conversation concerning religion.  

I guess when you're far away from home and people who are very similar to you, differences start to matter a lot less.  For example, just the fact that a person speaks English is a huge unifying factor.  

We often travel with a group of 15 or so friends.  I have tried to imagine how complicated this would be in the States.  However, for this group it's no problem at all, and we're travelling in China which is no easy task for even ONE person.  We're eating all together, doing activities all together, splitting bills, paying deposits, etc, yet we rarely, if ever, have an issue.   After trying to figure out why this works so seamlessly, I finally realized that despite our religious, political, background, family and nationality differences, we have one key factor in common: an "up for anything" personality.  

I guess to move across the world, learn enough Chinese to survive, appreciate another culture and branch out enough to make friends with people who are different from you, you have to have a bit of an adventurous nature.  As a result, despite our differences, we're on the same page more often than not.

Whatever the reason for these unique friendships may be, they have taught me a lesson about people, which I hope will stay with me even when I'm back home.  Friendship is more than just having a similar viewpoint.  Developing relationships with people who are different from you grows you, stretches you, and makes you a more interesting person.  It doesn't mean you have to lose yourself or compromise who you are, as a matter of fact it often gives more meaning and substance to your personality to have people around who challenge you.

We all live, learn, lament, laugh and love.  In the end, maybe we're not that different after all.

Thanksgiving Treasure Hunt!

That sounds fun, doesn't it?

Not so much.

Since Thanksgiving is only celebrated by North Americans (Canadians celebrate their Thanksgiving about a month before Americans, and I don't think it's as big of a deal for them, at least that's what I gather from my Canadian friends here) it is a day largely unnoticed by the rest of the world.  When living in China and trying to cook a Thanksgiving Day feast, this can become a bit of an issue.

The last two years we have gone out to a restaurant for Thanksgiving, which has been pretty disappointing each time.  So, this year we decided to take the challenge and prepare our own meal (with 12 of our close friends).

There are three main reasons for Thanksgiving (any cooking) difficulty in China:

1. Lack of ovens - Most apartments do not have ovens, so many foreigners buy a small convection oven, usually slightly larger than the average toaster oven.  Even the homes that have ovens have a scaled down version, not large enough to fit a 18lb. bird, so we have to order one from a caterer/restaurant.

2. Lack of ingredients - While there are a growing number of import markets here, they do not typically carry pumpkin pie filling or cranberries or any number of other necessary Thanksgiving ingredients.  After inquiring and getting a few blank looks at a shop yesterday, I found three cans of pumpkin pie filling hidden, grabbed them all and ran for the door.  It's like buying for plywood before a hurricane.

3. Schizophrenia of supply - The import stores here, the two main ones are "Jenny Lou's" and "April Gourmet" (ironic, huh?), are small.  The average size of their locations is about the size of my apartment.  As a result, they don't have much shelf/storage space.  So, while they may have a wide variety, it's undependable to say the least.  Two weeks ago I needed capers and couldn't find them anywhere.  Yesterday I was shopping and saw at least 10 jars in at least three stores.  Frustrating?  Yes.

These three points lead to a number of interesting situations.

Situation #1: Ordering of a turkey

My friends and I decided that a relaxing way to plan the logistics of our dinner would be over a foot massage.  So we headed to the spa for a 90-minute treat (this cost $15 - one of the up-sides of China).  About 30-minutes into this process we decided to call and order our turkey from a restaurant where we love eating and many others have recommended.  But, we discovered they only provide it if you order sides.  So we called another place, they didn't know the meaning of the word turkey - in Chinese or English.  This process went on for about a half-hour, during which Courtney, the original caller, was yelling and almost threw her phone a number of times.  This came as a bit of a shock to the tranquil massage therapists.  Finally, Ema took over the calling with fresh resolve and we found a bird.  Whew.

Situation #2: Finding ingredients (the treasure hunt)

There is currently an "All Points Bulletin" out for: walnuts, cranberry juice concentrate, Kalamata olives, buttermilk, self-rising flour and cornmeal.  We started early, so (of the "high-risk" ingredients), we have already found: cranberries (frozen), pumpking pie filling (amazing), marshmallows, dried cranberries, cinnamon sticks, and a vanilla bean.  These were from a minimum of three different stores.  Treasure hunts are fun, but not when you're desperate.

Situation #3: Logistics

We have small apartments.  

We live abroad and know someday we'll move back.  

We don't have cars.  

All of this can be a bit of an issue when 14 people get together to eat a traditional meal, hopefully at one big table.  And it takes quite a bit of planning.  We have to get additional chairs and two tables into my friends' apartment.  We have to bring our ovens, plates, glasses, silverware, and cooking supplies.  We have to start planning this process weeks in advance.

The good news is this: it's so worth it.

My best Beijing friend, Stacey, is flying back from New York (where she's in a PhD program for nine months) to celebrate with her Beijing family.  I am taking the day off of work on Thursday, Nov. 27th and making dishes together with my Beijing family.  We will all get together for a home cooked dinner, after so much work, frustration and preparation, and enjoy the fruits of our labor.  In this sense, maybe it feels more like the first Thanksgiving than my past holidays do.  Joining together with "new" friends, helping each other make preparations in advance, and then sitting down together and enjoying the "harvest" of hard work.  

Yum.

To vote, or not to vote....that isn't the question

Growing up in America, I remember being taught about voting:

"You should exercise your right to vote because there are people in the world who don't live in a country where they have the same rights."

While this is obviously true, and definitely a motivating factor, living abroad has taught me a second lesson:

"Americans should exercise their right to vote because there are people all over the world who are not able to vote IN AMERICA."

Being out of the United States broadens a person's perspective in many ways.  One area is more of an awareness of world affairs.  I have CNN International (one of two English channels, the other one is a movie channel) and watch it constantly.  Though it is an American network, it has a surprisingly balanced degree of world news, which means America is just one nation worthy of reporting on.  I remember noticing the distinct difference from most American news networks which are probably 90% domestic news.  This was before the Presidential election.  The past six months to year have been more concentrated on the election as well as the financial situation and how it affects the rest of the world.

Many Americans, including myself, are embarrassingly unaware of international affairs, but this is not a problem in every nation.  Europeans seem to be the most aware of world events and players and are able to have an educated conversation concerning many of them.  However, even the insulated Chinese are aware of the political situation in America.  

People around the world say "I'm voting for Obama" as if they were really filling out a ballot.  When people learn I am American they see me as their one chance to make a difference and they jump on it, giving me unsolicited reasons for why I should be voting one way or the other.  I AM THEIR VOTE.  This sentiment was strongest between Hilary and Obama.  (I've found that few people, at least in China, are very interested in McCain.)  However, during the primary season, taxi drivers to African diplomats were trying to convince me to vote for "their" candidate, often with great conviction and well thought out reasoning.  It was slightly intimidating, especially having grown up in a nation where people avoid political discussion in small talk.  Once I got past being intimidated/offended, I actually started to listen and realized that voting in America is not only a priviledge, it's a responsibility.  The decisions we make in our poll booths don't affect only our pocketbooks, our children, our environment, our wars and peace, but they affect these things for all of the world.  

Additionally, for the roughly 80% of Americans who do not have a passport, the American president is the most prominant person representing them to the rest of the world.  Whatever Americans have thought of Bush, the world has not been particularly fond of him.  For those travelling and living abroad, the past four years (at least) have meant knowing a barrage of criticism would follow an admission of nationality.  I'm proud to be an American, don't get me wrong, because I know the ideals we claim to stand for and the average person in America are worth being proud of.  In fact, living abroad, I'm more proud to be American than ever before.  However, we choose the President to represent all of us, and we benefit or suffer due to that performance.  Many people are able to separate normal Americans from one person in the White House, and realize we may not all be the same.  (Many are not able to make this separation - 9/11 comes to mind.)  However, they cannot separate us from the fact that we put our Presidents into place, which is true.

To many Americans I have met, this world perception may not be that important.  However, as the world globalizes more and more and our traditionally distant neighbors feel closer and closer, our image has growing importance.  The tragedy of the financial crisis has shown that, if nothing else, all markets and all business are now tied together.  

I will never think of voting the same again.  Even if I do not like the candidates, I will see it as my responsibility to vote on the issues.  As many have said, at this point in history America is a city on a hill, whether it wants to be or not.  Our decisions (to shine a light or not) affect outcomes throughout the world for good or bad.  I will use my one vote (and the many I surely represent around the world) to try to make that outcome a good one.

Life without music...

Justin and I were reflecting today on how drastically things have changed in the past three years in Beijing.  These changes have impacted nearly every aspect of daily life including things like ease of payment (you can now use a domestic debit card in at least 60% of restaurants/stores), variety and quality of restaurants, variety and quality of imported food and rising costs for nearly everything, just to name a few.  Another major change to add to the list is the number of international artists that have begun to include Beijing as a necessary stopping point on their world tours.  

Currently, Beijing is scheduled to host such internationally well-known recording artists as Kylie Minogue, Avril Lavigne, Linkin Park, Coldplay, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Kanye West.  The city also has scheduled a number of large music festivals including many locally/nationally popular artists.

Here's the problem: there's no guarantee they will happen.  The dates for the Kanye West concert, to which I am very excited to now have tickets, have been changed at least three times.  Last year Celine Dion, a local goddess due to the success of Titanic in China, was scheduled to perform and "cancelled" at the last minute.  Most people here knew it was the government trying to avoid a foreigner with a microphone and a large crowd gathered together in a venue. This is partly thanks to Bjork publicly expressing her widely shared (and largely justified) political views at a concert last year in Shanghai.  Odds are she won't be invited back to China anytime soon.

The good sign is that these big artists are even on the schedule to perform here.  Venues have been set aside and tickets have been sold.  Not that this means anything in China, but at least it gives us hope that international variety in music might one day be at the caliber of the international food that we have so come to enjoy.  

"Without music life would be a mistake."  ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Kanye, welcome to China!

Toilet Trauma

Some of my most awkward moments in China have been spent in the bathroom.  I wish I could say that these moments had been spent solitarily, but alas, they have not.  They have been spent with maintenance men.

The reality of human waste carries much less social stigmatism in a country where, until recently, entire neighborhoods shared a common toilet facility.  That's not to say that the situation no longer exists, it absolutely does in many neighborhoods including the one below my apartment, but the majority of people in cities and even smaller towns live in high-rise apartments.  I have used these communal bathrooms many times, and they are anything but discreet.  They are most easily found by following one's sense of smell.  Upon entering, you normally find four or five holes in the floor.  That's all.  No walls, rarely plumbing.  So, needless to say, people are less squirmy about bathroom privacy or the thought/sight of human waste.

I could share a myriad of stories about embarrassing bathroom situations involving Chinese maintenance men including (but not limited to): falling through the plastic toilet seat cover and into the toilet and then being caught by a maintenance hero before tumbling to the floor all while trying to point out the desired height of a new shower head, having a maintenance man take apart my plumbing lines and a radiator in an effort to find the ring I later found in the powdered laundry detergent bag (while he was still there), and many involving galoshes, toilet snakes, plungers, and lakes of poo - one of the most scarring included the entire hotel staff crammed inside my hotel room watching the whole affair.

Today I had a less embarrassing experience, but very typical one, in which I spent an hour sitting on the floor of the bathroom drinking my coffee while a maintenance man took apart my entire toilet at least twice.  Each time he emptied the entire toilet tank's contents of water all over the floor.  Wonderful.

The problem: recently my toilet has been taking a really long time to recover after being flushed and it doesn't have very good water pressure to start with.  So, it takes multiple flushes to take care of business (often with a smelly waiting period in between). This gets embarrassing when a guest has to use the toilet and ends up panicking in the bathroom for ten minutes. 

Any experience with a maintenance man first starts with a phone call to the operator either of the apartment office or hotel front desk.  This can be the most trying part of the whole saga.  Explaining plumbing problems over the phone is no easy task for someone who doesn't understand plumbing in any language, but trying to explain them in Chinese brings an awkward conversation to a whole new level.  Luckily today's problem wasn't an emergency, because that is even less fun.  

Today's conversation (translated from the original Chinese):

April: Hello?

Operator: Hello?

April: Hi, I have a problem with my toilet.  (I would like to note here that I am 100% confident that I know the Chinese word for "toilet" and used it properly throughout this conversation.)

Operator: With what part of your bathroom?

April: The toilet.

Operator: Where in the bathroom?

April: Where?  In my toilet!

Operator: What's the problem?  

April: There's a problem with the water, when you use it there's not enough and it is really slow.

Operator: Is the faucet broken?

April: No, it's a toilet.

Operator: Is there a problem with the hot water or the cold water?

April: There is no hot or cold water, it's a toilet, it's just regular water but it's really slow.

Operator: Well, what's the problem?

April: I don't know, I just told you the problem, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong or how to say it.

-----long pause-----

Operator: Are you home now?

April: Yes.  Can you send someone to look at it?

Operator: Okay, I'll send someone now.

April: Thank you.

The final verdict in today's chapter was that I need a new part.  One thing's for sure, dealing with operators and maintenance men is trying, but tracking down plumbing parts on your bicycle in a city void of The Real Yellow Pages and then trying to bargain for the real price when you don't even know the name of the thing in English, much less Chinese, is enough to make anyone crazy. Happy hunting to me! 

Fragrant Hills Park

My students, mostly college aged, asked me last week if I would like to meet them at 8am on Saturday morning to go to Fragrant Hills Park and see the fall foliage.  Having never experienced autumn anywhere outside of Beijing, this is the only tradition I have ever participated in: the yearly pilgrimage to see fall leaves.  In previous years we have heard stories of how packed the most famous park, Fragrant Hills park, is and have avoided it at all costs, settling for lesser known outlets.  However, this year, I decided to take them up on it and experience this epic tourist journey in full Chinese style.  Justin, in an effort to support me and my career, came along.

I am chronically late, but Justin and I were on time, which I cannot say for my students.  Having lived in Beijing for 2 1/2 years, we are seasoned veterans compared to many of them.  They have come to the "big city" to study English and are constantly getting lost on buses.  At about 9am we were all together and boarded a public bus (after having waited in a longer line to have the priviledge of seats, of course).  An hour later we arrived and plunged into the current of humanity streaming up the stairs to the top of the mountain.  Conversation was interesting as my students tried their best to make small talk with Justin and I.  At one point, one of them asked me if there were this many people in America.  I, of course, told her "no", trying to imagine a Disney World line - including vendors, pushing, and litter - along the Appalachian Trail.  She told me that Chinese people have had to learn to see the beauty in other people's faces, as well as in nature, which I thought was a pretty good technique.

Some of my students (and me)

This sign says "Hard Work Room", one of my students suggested Justin have his picture taken here after she saw him sending work emails on a Saturday

After an hour or two we got to the top, spread out some paper on the ground and ate lunch.  The students asked Justin and I to teach them an American card game so we taught them "Spoons".  The consequence for losing was a dare, and they had a blast coming up with embarrasing things to make each other do.  Actually, they had a blast waiting for Justin and I to think of things. 

A few hours later, when it became clear they wanted to stay until nightfall, we excused ourselves and took the cable car back down.

View of Beijing

We're always on the outside in our Chinese tourism experiences, so for once, it was nice to be treated as one of the bunch.  I only had two random people ask to take their picture with me all day.  ;-)