That's the case this summer, as many of our longtime Beijing compatriots pack boxes and ship off to exciting futures elsewhere. Some are switching jobs, some finishing school here, some starting school back in their home country. This makes Beijing a sort of sad place in the summer, that or the fact that it's constantly a white haze outside...I'm not sure what's worse. I'm planning to take a picture out my window everyday this week and document the overwhelming whiteness and lack of ability to see the sun. It's bad man, it's bad. But more about that later
The city's transient nature has a number of results.
1. Repetitious/Predictable Conversations
One of the first questions people is: "How long have you been in Beijing?"
In other words, are you a newbie here, or do you have ANY clue about what's going on. Also, we're secretly trying to discover if this person will be able to add any value to our lives...can they recommend a good, hidden restaurant? Do they have a connection with a tailor that can make a wedding dress, halloween costume, new suit? Can they offer any help when in looking for my next apartment? Living in China is no walk in the park. The landscape is always changing and good teammates make things a lot easier.
Question number two: "How long are you planning to stay?"
Most people here have an end date in mind, which is strange. It's hard to imagine someone having a logical answer in a western country to questions like: How long do you plan to live in your current house? When will you leave your job? Are you going to have a baby in the city in which you now live? But here these questions are commonplace. The majority of people are here short term and they know where they're going next. So, for those of us who DON'T have an end date, what we're really trying to figure out is: are you worth building a friendship with? If someone says anything less than "a year", I'm tempted to move on. They aren't going to be here long enough to "get it" and I have grown to hate farewell parties.
2. Promotions
If you can stick around, and have a decent job, you're moving up baby. The fact that a person has three or more years solid China work experience is a big plus...in China at least. For us it remains to be seen how this will play out once we move anywhere else. But the reality is that the majority of people I know that have been here awhile are doing things they'd NEVER be able to do back home in terms of roles and responsibilities at work. It's pretty awesome.
3. Dine and Ditch
When I lived in America, I attended my fair share of housewarming parties. But that was nothing compared to the number of dinner parties I've attended here where the end goal is for the host to finish the night with an empty house. People buy stuff here for their lives, but it's expensive to move it back or they already have a houseful of stuff stored at home, so they give it away. The only condition: pay it forward...make sure some newbie gets all your stuff when you go home too. I didn't register for my wedding, but I now know the feeling people must have when they use the "Platter Darah Gave Me" or for me: the "Spices Heather Left Behind" or the "Lamp Ali Didn't Want" or the "Sheets Ema Didn't Need". My house is a testament to all those who've gone before me.
The fire drill continues...this week we're planning two going away parties for some of my best friends in Beijing - one going to law school and one moving with her husband to start new jobs Stateside. I'll be forced to make new friends and reach out to unfamiliar people in order to fill in the gaps. Definitely not something that comes naturally, but I've gotten a lot better at it...I've had to. After all, if I don't meet new people, who will throw our going away party someday?
